Zombies – the Poor Man’s Vampires
Zombies are fascinating creatures, but there can only be limited variations of mutilated, foot-dragging, brain-sucking, used-to-be humans. However, let’s take a light-hearted look at zombies and their contribution to pop culture.
The Undead
Undead is an unusual term. “Un” means not, so undead means not dead, which should mean alive, but it doesn’t mean that either. It’s a very contrived terminology. Could they also be called unalive? That’s much harder to say, so maybe not. So, what are these creatures called, the undead?
Now, zombies are the new undead, not the old undead—vampires. Are zombies and vampires the same? Absolutely not! Of course, there are some similarities, but the differences are as striking as the difference between life and death.
Vampires
Vampires are a much higher class of undead than zombies. They are suave, sophisticated, well-educated, and often members of high society. They dress well and attend fancy balls. The men are handsome, and the women are beautiful.
The best thing about being a vampire is eternal life. Those suckers (pardon the pun) never die. However, immortality may be overrated depending on how you see your own life.
The one negative aspect of associating with a vampire is that you are never in control of your own destiny. If they want to suck your blood and make you one of their own, they will eventually find a way to get the job done. You don’t have any choice in the matter.
(Image by Willgard Krause from Pixabay)
However, there are ways to dissuade or at least delay the inevitable. For some reason, vampires don’t like garlic. I don’t know if it’s due to an allergy or a dislike of spices in general, but they don’t like garlic. They also convulse when exposed to a cross, an actual religious cross, or anything resembling one. But we can end them once and for all with a pointy stick hammered into their heart. Quite a novel way to die!
Zombies
Zombies really are a lower-class group of undead. They don’t dress well, aren’t well-groomed, and may not even have all their body parts tucked in where they belong. They are a mess, just the everyday guys and gals from next door. It could be you or me if we were in the wrong place at the right time. Now, that’s a scary thought.
(Image by Nanne Tiggelman from Pixabay)
My first impression of zombies was, “They’re not so scary. Look at them stumbling along, dragging one foot behind. I could easily outrun them.” But the next thing you know, a herd of them is running along at breakneck speed. Some fool movie producer taught those wandering hamburger faces how to run. Now, the whole world is in trouble. And they keep going and going and going like that Energizer Bunny.
Okay, vampires and zombies do have one significant thing in common. You can also use the same kind of pointy stick used to kill a vampire to kill a zombie. However, zombies prefer their sharp sticks in the eye socket and through the brain. Go figure!
Where Do Zombies Come From?
That’s a broad question that can be interpreted in many ways. First of all, if you believe zombies exist (sorry, I had to stop for a moment to snicker), you may also have other belief issues. For example, you probably still leave your tooth under your pillow for the Tooth Fairy after you get it knocked out in a bar fight. But I digress.
Everyone knows that vampires originated in Transylvania in Eastern Europe, but did they? Of course, they didn’t, but that’s where Bram Stoker decided they were from when he wrote his classic novel Dracula in 1897. He felt that the landscape and history of Transylvania were conducive to the wanderings of a bloodsucking monster of nobility. It was later that vampires migrated to Germany and even Britain. But the origins of zombies and their place in pop culture are not so romantic.
Are Zombies American?
Zombies are from Anywhere, USA, and proud of it. One day, they just happened. They weren’t, and then they were. As far as I know, no one has ever given a definitive reason for the appearance of zombies. It could be a virus or a scientific experiment gone wrong. However, now that we’ve determined zombies aren’t real, let’s move on to where they originated.
(Image by Benjamin Dean from Pixabay)
Zombies first appeared in the 1968 George A. Romero movie Night of the Living Dead. Oddly enough, the word zombie or any variation of the word was never actually used in the movie. When Night of the Living Dead became a cult classic, movie fans began referring to the creatures as zombies.
You may or may not know that the word zombie can refer to someone who, lacking in sleep, wanders aimlessly, not even aware of what’s going on around them. Yeah, that is the definition of a zombie. Perhaps we’ve all been zombies at one time or another under this definition.
Michael Jackson and Zombies
Michael Jackson went through many phases in his music in his relatively short life. However, it’s not only his music that made him headlines. Michael became quite unusual-looking due to his many trips to the plastic surgeon and his exposure to skin-whitening techniques. His sharp features and pale skin were in distinct contrast to the boyish cuteness he possessed as a child at 11 years old in 1969, when the Jackson Five first arrived on the scene.
(Image by Saiful Anwar from Pixabay)
So, what does Michael Jackson have to do with zombies or even vampires? Some might say Michael looked somewhat like a vampire because of his appearance modifications. Anyway, even though I’m not especially a fan, I did like his music video Thriller. In this video, Michael morphs into a zombie and teaches a whole graveyard full of zombies to dance. Remember, earlier in this article, zombies could barely walk, and now they’re keeping up with Michael Jackson’s smooth moves.
The release of this video in October of 2009, just before Halloween, brought zombies back into pop culture. Let’s watch it together. Okay, here come the zombies. If you’re a diehard Michael Jackson fan, click here for the extended version.
Walkers
Walkers are retro zombies. The term “walkers” refers to zombies in The Walking Dead. This international hit television series debuted on Halloween night in 2010. It’s not that the word “zombies” is copyrighted. It’s because the producers and writers of The Walking Dead decided to portray zombies as slow but persistent, as they did in Night of the Living Dead.
No running or dancing zombies here. Once again, they stumble along with one foot dragging behind. What The Walking Dead sacrificed in quality in its zombies, it made up for in quantity. Hundreds, if not thousands, of zombies roam the forests and countryside. You can’t swing a cat without hitting a zombie.
(Image by SvenKirsch from Pixabay)
The Walking Dead concluded after 11 seasons last year, with the final episode airing on November 20, 2022. The series is about the survivors of a zombie apocalypse and their struggles to stay one step ahead of zombies and other survivors competing for scarce food and other resources.
I’m amazed that the series lasted as long as it did. It was an exciting concept, but how many zombies do we have to see shot through the head or get decapitated before we tire of the theme? Or how many narrow escapes from being tackled and having their brains devoured must the stars of the show endure before the audience says, “Enough is enough”? Apparently, eleven seasons is the magic number. However, I grew tired of it after about three seasons. There are too many cast members to follow and too many zombie parts strewn across the landscape.
How to Survive a Zombie Apocalypse
In case I’m wrong, and zombies do exist, here’s how to survive a zombie apocalypse. When a growling herd of zombies confronts you, you’d better hope they are the slow-moving, foot-dragging variety. If not, The End.
If so, get in the house as fast as possible and lock all the doors and windows. Turn off that damned, blaring Rock ‘n’ Roll music because they are attracted to loud noise. Turn out the lights and hide under your bed. Now, they are the neighbours’ problem.
The Future of Zombies
I don’t think the zombie genre has much of a future. It has run its course. If you’ve seen one zombie, you’ve pretty much seen them all. However, the 2016 South Korean movie Train to Busan was good. Korean zombies can really move. It’s the first movie I’ve seen with zombies running fast. I was disappointed in that because it gives the zombies an obvious advantage.
There will always be more and more zombie B movies, just as there are more and more vampire B movies, but the undead genre may have finally died (pun intended).
The above essay is for entertainment and English language study only. For suggestions on how to use this post to improve your English reading and listening comprehension, click here.
Vocabulary
- zombie – noun; a corpse said to be revived; a dead person that comes back to life to eat brains; yeah, a zombie
- undead – noun or adjective; technically dead but still animate; dead but still seems alive; vampires or zombies
- vampire – noun; reanimated corpse supposed to leave its grave at night to suck the blood of sleeping people; yeah, a vampire
- suave – adjective; (of a person, manners, etc.) charming, smooth, polite; charming
- sophisticated – adjective; worldly, cultured, and refined; knows a lot about many different things
- immortality – noun; live forever; not mortal; live forever; never die
- destiny – noun; fate or the predetermined course of events; what will happen, and you can’t change it
- dissuade – transitive verb; discourage (a person); stop or change the situation (in this context)
- inevitable – adjective; unavoidable; sure to happen; will happen for sure
- novel – adjective; strange; unusual, interesting
- breakneck speed – adjective + noun; dangerously fast; running so fast that if they fell, they would break their necks (in this context)
- Energizer Bunny – a pink mechanical toy rabbit; 1988 advertisement for Energizer batteries
- snicker – intransitive verb; make a half-suppressed, secretive laugh; laugh in a mocking way
- digress – intransitive verb; depart from the main subject temporarily in speech or writing; change topics and then go back to the previous topic
- conducive – adjective (often followed by to); contributing or helping (towards something); making a situation even better
- nobility – noun; a class of nobles; royalty, but less than a king and queen or a prince and princess
- cult classic – noun; a popular fashion, esp., followed by a specific section of society; a movie considered to be special or representative of a specific genre (in this context)
- modifications – pl. noun; changes made; changes made
- morphs – verb 3rd person singular; alter or transform (an image); change appearance (in this context)
- retro – adjective; style or fashion imitating the past, esp. in dress, music, etc.; as before in earlier times
- apocalypse – noun; catastrophic destruction, esp. the end of the world; the end of the world by any means
- decapitated – transitive verb; remove the head or top of; head chopped off
Comprehension Questions
- Are zombies real?
Yes or No - Are vampires real?
Yes or No - What will keep vampires away?
(a) garlic, (b) a cross, (c) a pointy stick through the heart, or (d) all of a, b, and c - Have you ever had a tooth knocked out in a bar fight?
Yes or No - Where did vampires come from, according to author Bram Stoker?
(a) London, (b) Berlin, (c) Transylvania, or (d) New York City - According to the author of this post, where do zombies come from?
(a) Egypt, (b) the USA, (c) Russia, or (d) Switzerland - Are you a Michael Jackson fan?
Yes or No
If yes, what is your favourite Michael Jackson song? - Do you think Michael Jackson looks like a vampire in the sketch above?
Yes or No - For how many seasons did the TV series The Walking Dead last?
(a) 2, (b) 5, (c) 8, or (d) 11 - Have you seen the South Korean movie Train to Busan?
Yes or No
Resources
And Now For Your Listening and Viewing Enjoyment
Here is one of my favourite groups singing “Time of the Season”. And what does this have to do with zombies, you might ask. Well, it just so happens that the name of the group is The Zombies.
Lyrics
"Time of the Season"
performed by The Zombies (1967)
written by Rod Argent
It's the time of the season
When love runs high
In this time, give it to me easy
And let me try with pleasured hands
To take you in the sun to promised lands
To show you every one
It's the time of the season for loving
What's your name? (What's your name?)
Who's your daddy? (Who's your daddy?)
(He rich) Is he rich like me?
Has he taken (Has he taken)
Any time (Any time)
(To show) To show you what you need to live?
Tell it to me slowly, tell you what
I really want to know
It's the time of the season for loving
What's your name? (What's your name?)
Who's your daddy? (Who's your daddy?)
(He rich) Is he rich like me?
Has he taken (Has he taken)
Any time (Any time)
(To show) To show you what you need to live?
Tell it to me slowly, tell you what
I really want to know
It's the time of the season for loving
